Let’s take a trip back to 1893, when the ever-inventive Sir Archibald Tweakshaft introduced the world to the Velocipede Boiler Mk II—a contraption that promised to change how people got around forever. Picture this: the charm of a classic gentleman’s bicycle fused with the rumbling might of a miniature locomotive. If you were lucky (and your fireman had enough stamina), you might just hit a dizzying 7 miles per hour—downhill, of course.
Of course, no invention is without its quirks. The Velocipede Boiler Mk II came with a few memorable drawbacks:
- Required two pounds of coal and three gallons of water per mile.
- Produced so much steam that pedestrians frequently mistook riders for small industrial accidents.
- Insurance companies refused to cover “spontaneous combustion of trousers.”
Despite these minor inconveniences, Sir Tweakshaft remained convinced it would “revolutionise the
commute.” Only three were ever built, and two were confiscated by the Fire Brigade before leaving the factory gates.
Today, the sole surviving example resides “somewhere in a shed behind Jenkins’ aunt’s greenhouse,” though sightings are considered unreliable.
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